The Love we Overlook

So, how was your valentines?

 Did you get flowers? Who did you spend your valentines with? How romantic was it?…..

Well my valentine’s was not romantic, probably even boring… I took the time to reflect internally at the non-romantic love in my life.

I got my hand on this amazing book “Everything I Know About Love, Dolly Alderton’’ which felt perfect for the month of February, after it’s the month of love. Dolly Alderton explores the complexity of relationships, from the romantic to the friendships, family dynamics, and the love we sometimes overlook in the mundane. The moment February kicks in, our minds are always tuned to think about romantic love leaving little or no room to appreciate all the love that surrounds us and most times could go unnoticed.

We often get caught up in our search for a “grand” love—thinking it will be life-changing and transformative, like the fairy tales we grew up with. However, the book challenges that notion by showing how the smaller, everyday kinds of love are just as meaningful and, in some cases, more fulfilling.

Let’s break down how we can be able to notice and appreciate the different kinds of love around us:

1. Friendships: Friendships can be deep, complex bonds formed between friends. These relationships often get overlooked or underappreciated, but they are vital sources of love and support. Friendships can be a constant source of joy and comfort, often offering stability when other relationships falter. These comprise of friends we made through out our lives and into our adulthood even as we continue to live this life.
2. Family Love: The love from family, though sometimes complicated, is a grounding force in the human life. Family dynamics shape our understanding of love, often leading us to realize how important it is to nurture these relationships, even in the face of imperfection. Most times this kind of love could go unappreciated as it always feels like it should always be there.
3. Self-Love: A critical part of our wellbeing, we should be able to explore self-love, before we can fully appreciate love from others, we need to accept and care for ourselves. This realization is often a turning point in the narrative, once we are able to love ourselves then we can be able to extend that love to others.
4. Romantic Love: The book dissects the idealization of romantic love, showing how it’s easy to get caught up in expectations and fantasies. Real love—whether it’s romantic, platonic, or familial—is messy, flawed, and requires work. But in doing so, it becomes much more meaningful than any picture-perfect, grand notion of love we may have. Afterall it’s better to have loved and lost than not to love at all.
5. Gratitude for everyday: One of the things about gratitude is learning to want what you already have. The seemingly small moments of love—a hug from a friend, a text from a family member, a quiet evening spent with a loved one—are often what matter most. This helps to not only just focus on the “big events” but learn to value these daily interactions that may seem insignificant but are, in fact, what hold our lives together.

In the end, Alderton’s work serves as a reminder that love is all around us. We need to learn to see it, cherish it, and be grateful for it, rather than always chasing after something that feels bigger or more dramatic. The small moments, the quiet, everyday displays of care, are often what make life beautiful and worth living.

Have you had any moments like these where you’ve realized the importance of the smaller, often overlooked forms of love in your own life? Drop us a comment below or on our socials @WashaNjia.